Persons [ ] No One is any One Thing | Martin Short, 1950-

Martin Short

“There’s a lot of insecure, sad people in any profession.”

“All these things that enter your head are assignments. You write them up and then throw them out there and if someone wants to do it, your assignment is done.”

“You try to figure out things to keep yourself interested. It’s very easy to get lulled.”

“All you’re trying to do in an improvisation is get as much material as possible for the editing room.”

Martin Short [as Ed Grimley], The Wheel of Fortune Contestant – SNL – Season 10, 1984

“I’ve always thought one of the tricks of being an actor for a long time is keeping yourself interested once you’ve figured out how to pay the rent.”

“I decided that, as a stand-up, I’d position myself as a cerebral, observational comic, making references to Camus and Kierkegaard. I wasn’t so much concerned with getting laughs as I was with seeing audience members turn to each other at any given moment and say, “Exactly!”

Martin Short, Joe Flaherty, Eugene Levy, and Andrea Martin in Second City TV, 1976

“All the actor does is, he tries to get as many takes as he can out of the director that day. So he can walk away and say to himself, “Hey, it’s in there. I’m not going to edit it. I’m not going to make those choices. If they want to blow it, it’s fine. But I’ve done all I can.” You’re right. I’m always amazed when actors bash films as if those grips and that cinematographer didn’t work hard enough.”

“You can do 12 great takes, but if the director is no good, he’ll end up picking the wrong one.”

Martin Short [as Nathan Thurm], Tobacco Growers of America – SNL – Season 10, 1985

“Comedy is so subjective. If you trip and fall down, some people will laugh, and some people will say, ‘Oh, physical comedy is so pedestrian.’ Some people look at Three Stooges as lowbrow; some people consider them artists. No one is wrong. It’s just a personal take.”

“I’m just drawn to the odd guy, the man who is full of it, the guy who has limited talent but is pretending he’s a genius.”

“No one is any one thing.”

Martin Short and Nancy Dolman in Marty, Life is Short, 2026

“Someone once asked me what was the weirdest question I was ever asked. And I was stymied.”

“Sometimes people get passionate about the obscure jokes.”

“An actor can spew out thoughts, but they’re not all gold.”

“I pretend I’m one of the royal family when I’m in a hotel and that the hotel belongs to me – it is a palace.”

Martin Short [as Irving Cohen], Eddie Murphy, Billy Crystal, – Broadway Gumby Rose – SNL – Season 10, 1984

“I remember, as a kid, nothing struck me funnier than seeing Richard Nixon look into the camera and sincerely tell everyone he didn’t know where the 18 minutes had gone from his tapes. But there was all this sweat on his upper lip. We knew he was lying. He knew we knew he was lying. But he was determined to tell the lie.”

“You know, speaking from experience, I can tell you that there’s no aphrodisiac more potent than Watergate-themed cabaret music.”

“Trump is Trump. Some people find him hilarious. I don’t find it hilarious, but you can’t say it’s dull. There’s nothing credible about Donald Trump.”

“A musical is only as good as its director. The same can also be said for the CIA.”

Martin Short, Three Fugitives, 1989

“There was an era when people would turn on their radio and hear a radio drama. Now, you could be as scared by that as seeing it filmed. In those days, people used to sit by the fire and imagine what they were hearing. Everything is its own art form.”

“People have very specific opinions of comedy. Slapstick was an art form in the ’20s and the lowest form of show business in the ’50s. Who’s right, who’s wrong? Who’s an idiot, who’s not?”

“One of my great influences was Don Knotts as Barney Fife.”

“Why does ‘I Love Lucy‘ still make people laugh? Because she’s a specific character who has real reactions.”

“Eugene Levy is my closest friend.”

A scene from Three Fugitives, 1989

“I have a kind of objective luxury about my career.”

“I think loss can fuel how you lead your whole life.”

“Ah, Clifford—what to make of it? Let’s see: poor box office, bad studio karma, critical excoriation . . . all the prerequisites for a cult hit.”

“I’ve done lots of improv things but not a whole movie.”

“David Lynch and I almost made a movie together in the late ’80s. We had lots of dinners and lunches. He’s a very cool, hip guy. This film, let’s face it, is like an homage to him, I would imagine he’d find it funny.”

Only Murders in the Building series, 2021-25

“We arranged to spend the next day, a Sunday, looking at apartments together, followed by a round of tennis, since we both played. Before Nancy left the Pilot that night, I said to her lasciviously— I don’t know what possessed me—“Have you ever tried a comedian before?” Which was either very sexy or very creepy, depending on your opinion of me. She just stared at me, betraying no emotion, and said, “I hope you have a racket. I’m pretty good.”

“Discipline is essential to life, whether you are administering or inflicting the spanking.”

Martin Short

“When you have to worry about paying the rent, you’re never bored. You’re just happy to have that job. But once you don’t have to worry and reach the point where it’s no longer about the money, you’re able to look at other opportunities outside of your comfort zone.”

“The mark of the man is how he responds to situations. You’re not going to avoid tough times. We’re all over the barrel some of the time. What are you going to do about it?”

“I don’t see any difference between mental illness as a disease and cancer as a disease.”

Martin Short

“The thing you can always rely on, your core person, comes from your family’s attention and love.”

“My mother was the concert master of the symphony. Absurdity and eccentricity were not criticized.”

“I think I’m funny because my family, my siblings were funny.”

“I have sometimes imagined my own death and brought myself to tears.”

“I know if I were to drop dead now, people would probably write nice things in the obit.”

Martin Short, 1950-

Comedian, actor, and writer

Martin Short, Marty, Life is Short, 2026 documentary by Lawrence Kasdan