Thoughts on { Parents | Erma Bombeck, 1927-1996
A Mother and Child in a Maternity Ward, 1962
“Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.”
“It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.”
“When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.”
“There was a time when the one singular thing that held a marriage together was the threat of getting the kids.”
“All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. ”
“No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked.
“When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he’s doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911. ”
“Insanity is hereditary. You can catch it from your kids.”
“A child needs your love most when he deserves it least.”
“Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.”
“Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation.”
Erma Bombeck, 1927-1996
